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Sunday, March 12, 2006
"His Break-up Excuses DECODED"
--> got this from a friend's post
"It's not you, it's me." "I need some space." "It's a crazy time at work..." Ever wondered what guys are really thinking when they toss out one of those hackneyed breakup lines? To find out, we asked experts and real guys to give it to us straight.
He says: "It's not you, it's me."
Translation: "This means: It is you," says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University. "You're not to his taste, and you might as well move on." By dusting off this George Costanza classic, he's trying to soften the blow (as if an amazing woman like you needs the blow softened!). But before you get too steamed, consider this his attempt to shoulder the blame--which he wouldn't do unless he really respects you, says Rick Blaiser, 31, a writer in New York. "We save this line for girls we consider cool and maybe even want to stay friends with."
He says: "I need my space."
Translation: You're, um, kind of driving him nuts. Yep, he feels smothered, but the good news is it may have absolutely nothing to do with you. "Many men have a fierce independent streak, and when they start to feel that they're losing their autonomy, they do what any caged animal naturally seeks to do--escape!" says Haltzman. It could be that the relationship is moving too fast emotionally or sexually, or you're seeing each other too often, adds L. Joan Allen, author of Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right. (In some cases, backpedaling and giving him space may ease his relationship claustrophobia.)
Sometimes, however, a guy feels suffocated when you're not even coming on too strong. "Being in love is a form of losing control," explains Haltzman. "If your guy's not used to it, there's a good chance as he starts to get too close he may feel an instinct to pull away." (So that explains those dudes who call you three times a day, drop by every night--then tell you you're crowding them!) This breed of breakup sometimes doesn't stick, notes Haltzman: "If he's balking at making a deeper emotional connection, sometimes a little space will change his mind." So if you're hoping for a reconciliation, your best bet is to get on with your life--and let him figure out for himself how lonely his life is without you.
He says: "Work is crazy--I don't have time for a relationship right now."
Translation: He's just not that into you. Work may be busy, sure. But "if you're important enough to him, he'll find a way to fit you into his schedule," says Haltzman. Lots of important men manage to juggle a job and a relationship: Look at Donald and Melania! Ah-naald and Maria! "Ask yourself this: If Halle Berry came to your guy's door in the middle of his 'crazy work schedule,' would he send her packing?" says Haltzman. "If the answer is 'no' then you've got to wonder why he could find time for Halle and not you." You also have beauty, brains, talent--the only thing she has on you are a few stinking statues. If he can't see your worth, he's not worthy of you. Next!
He says: "I think we should see other people."
Translation: He loves sex with you, but he would like it with other women, too. Take it from John Brown, 36, a screenwriter in Los Angeles, who admits to having a "friend" who has pulled this stunt. "When a guy says he thinks you should see other people, he wants to 'see' if you'd be willing to let him sleep with other girls, guilt-free," he explains. "He thinks you're hot--if he didn't, he'd completely end things--but he doesn't want all the obligations that come with being your boyfriend." Ouch! (Remember: John Brown's just the messenger, people...)
He says: "You're too good for me."
Translation: He's a dog--and he knows it. When a guy says you deserve a better boyfriend, run--yes, run--the other way. "Most people overestimate their value," notes Haltzman. "They think they deserve the raise or to be chosen as the next American Idol. So if a man tells you he's not worthwhile, he's probably right." This bad-news dude is flat-out telling you that he doesn't put much stock in what it takes to make a relationship work: honesty, trust, little things like fidelity, says Haltzman. Bottom line: "Believe him and thank him for saving you from a lifetime of misery," says Allen.
Lisa Lombardi is a writer and editor in New York.
Posted by Keiwai ::
1:23 PM ::
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Sunday, March 05, 2006
Johari Window
Arena (known to self and others) | Blind Spot (known only to others) dependable, independent, loving, organised, reflective, warm | Façade (known only to self) | Unknown (known to nobody) able, accepting, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, ingenious, intelligent, introverted, kind, knowledgeable, logical, mature, modest, nervous, observant, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, wise, witty | Dominant Traits100% of people think that Keiwai is dependable
100% of people think that Keiwai is independent
100% of people think that Keiwai is loving
100% of people think that Keiwai is organised
100% of people think that Keiwai is reflective
100% of people think that Keiwai is warm
All Percentagesable (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (100%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (0%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (100%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (0%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (100%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (100%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (100%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (100%) wise (0%) witty (0%)
Posted by Keiwai ::
4:30 PM ::
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Friday, February 17, 2006
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
Posted by Keiwai ::
5:29 AM ::
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Sunday, February 12, 2006
The Keys to Your Heart
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
Posted by Keiwai ::
5:20 AM ::
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Wednesday, February 08, 2006
2.5 Hours
... Until this fuck-wank-bugger-shitting-arse-head-and-hole of a day (thank you Love Actually for this wonderful wonderful wonderful phrase!)
is over.
02.08.06 Today is supposed to be our 2nd year Anniversary.
I will sing this song ...
You’ve Made Me Stronger
Regine Velasquez
_____
Is it hard to believe I’m okay
After all, it’s been awhile
Since you walked away
I’m way past crying
Over you finding someone else
You turned my days into nights (days into nights)
But now I see the light
And this maybe a big surprise to you
But you’ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you’ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye
If you try to believe I’m not over you
Go ahead
There’s nothing wrong with making believe
I know
Cuz I used to pretend you’d come back to me
But time has been such a friend
Brought me to my senses again
And I have you to thanked (I have you to thanked)
For setting me free (for setting me free)
Cuz you’ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you’ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye
Think again
Don’t feel so sorry for me, my friend
Oh, don’t you know
I’m not the one at the losing end (I’m not the one)
Cuz you’ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you’ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye
You ended my life
And a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you’ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye, goodbye
You’ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye
... NEXT TIME.
Posted by Keiwai ::
5:23 AM ::
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Monday, February 06, 2006
The Art Of A Good Marriage
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not endwith the honeymoon,
it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other,
not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating
gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding
and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence
is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
~ Wilferd A. Peterson
Posted by Keiwai ::
6:00 AM ::
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